


Alone

by just_another_gay



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Angst galore, M/M, cursing, kyle thinks it's time to end their friendship, sorry i'm such shit at tagging lol, sorta vent fic ???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 12:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17203466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_another_gay/pseuds/just_another_gay
Summary: Kyle needs to cut some ties, ties in the form of Stan Marsh...





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> my first style fic! hopefully this'll get me back in the swing of things

It felt like any normal day, it  _was_ a normal day; Stan was sitting on his bed with Kyle, they were both messing around on their phone. It was such a normal day. Stan glanced up from his phone to find that the sun was starting to set, Kyle said he had to be home by dark but he was enjoying himself, it's been a while since they'd hung out together, just them (well without one of them crying or having a crisis). Actually things had kinda been weird with them since Stan had turned 10. Maybe not weird, just  _different._ There was once a time when his dad had been afraid people would think they  were "funny" because they hung out so much, it's just not the same. Their whole groups fucked up now; Kenny's irrelevant, Cartmans a bigger jack ass then ever, and Stand and Kyle are just friends. Stan missed his super best friend, missed him like hell. 

He knows he's changed, they both have and changing isn't a bad thing, it can just be painful when two people change and move in different directions. You see Stan has a habit of trying to hold on to things that were good in the past, memories of when everything was less shitty. He'd think back to when him and Wendy were together and  _happy,_ think back to when he wasn't more mature than his father. One memory he finds himself thinking about is a time of summer night air and tears and his feet hitting on the pavement as he ran all the way to his favorite persons house in the dead of night. 

It wasn't something new for his sister to hit him or even throw shit at him, but this night was different. The situation itself wasn't different, in fact it was so not different it was normal, how he reacted is what made this night so memorable. Shelley had come storming into the house, she was pissed and he didn't care why, all Stan cared about was finishing this God damn episode of Terrance and Philip. To his dismay his sister had other plans. She ordered him to move his ass so she could watch her show and when he told her to fuck off she punched him, hard. And then did it again. He tried to go to his mom (yes I know what a fucking pussy move shut up he wanted to finish his show) his mom just told him to hit her back, which didn't seem fair since she was so much older and stronger than him. But he didn't really have any other way of getting the TV back, plus his mother just gave him permission to hit his sister!

As I'm sure you can guess things didn't exactly play out in his favor. Of course she beat him, how could he win? But she kept hitting, didn't stop even after he yelled "uncle" or told her she could have the TV. She didn't stop till Stan was sure he was going to black out. He had tried to get up but she would just keep punching or kicking. The second she stopped he was up and out the door, it hurt to run but he had to get there as fast as possible. With every step his body throbbed and protested but he kept running, the sound of his panting breath and his feet hitting the side walk was all he could hear. He couldn't think over the pound in his chest and the tears staining his cheeks. 

It was only once he was standing outside the Broflovski house hold that it really registered what he was doing. There was no point in stopping now, he wasn't even sure he'd be able to make it home. So with trembling fingers he swung their door open and walked inside. Their living room was deserted, Mrs. Broflovski didn't notice him stumbling up the stairs,  Mr. Broflovski didn't notice him when he pasted his office, Ike didn't even look up from his lap top when Stan passed his bed room door. No body noticed, except Kyle. 

Stan was holding on to the door knob, readying himself to open it and maybe be yelled at for coming so late on a school night but before he could turn the handle he heard his name being softly spoken behind him, a question. Stan was determined not to look to miserable but when he turned and saw Kyle's gentle, concerned face it was all over. He started to fucking sob again, right in the middle of their hallway. Kyle took him in and they just stayed together all night, Kyle didn't even push Stan to talk about what happened, but he did help clean him up. 

That's why that memory was so special, because it was a moment of honest caring. Stan knew Kyle would make things better, and he did. That was 3 months before he turned 10. It's in the past and it seems like their rough patch is coming to an end, they had fun on Halloween and at the Bike Parade. Things were gonna be okay again. Or that's what Stan thought, until he turned from the window to Kyle and the words died on his lips. Kyle was looking at him so intently, he looked so sad, so... determined? He was wearing this look he has when he's got his mind made up to do something, like nothing could stop him. It didn't look good mixed in with how sad he looked. He looked sorry, and Stan really did not want to find out what he had to be sorry about. But he would find out anyway.

Without breaking eye contact Kyle took in a deep breath. "I think we should stop". Kyle sat there, squeezing his eyes shut and holding his breath, too afraid to see Stan's expression. "Stop what? Like stop playing on our phones becaus-" "No I mean we need to stop. Stop being in each others lifes. We need to stop being friends. I can't- no, I don't  _want_ to keep being around you. I know we have history but well.. I can't do this anymore. I can't do  _you_ anymore. I'm sorry man..." 

Stan didn't know what to say. I mean, what the hell do you  _say to that?_ It felt like his whole world had fucking crashed around him. It had to be a joke, it was a joke right? Kyle's not doing this, theres no fucking way. His heart had fucking dropped to his stomach, the look Kyle was giving him was enough to know this was no joke. He wanted to move, get up and as far away from this as possible but his limbs wouldn't move and his mouth wouldn't work. It was like he had fucking died, dying would actually be preferred right now. 

"Come on man, don't look at me like that!" Kyle says, ripping Stan out of whatever trance he was in. "Don't... don't  _look at you like that?_ How the hell do you  _want_ me to look!?" Stan was mad, Stan was  _fuming._ It's so much easier to be pissed off than sad, at least if he's pissed off Kyle can't see how hurt he is. Right? "Stan-"

"No fuck you dude! You can't just- you can't just fucking call it quits! That's not.. that's not fair.." Just as unfair as telling your son to hit back when he comes to you for safety. Turns out being pissed only lasts for so long, if Kyle didn't know how hurt he was before the way his voice just broke sure as hell gave it away. Kyle looked like he was going to say something else so Stand had to gather himself enough to keep going. "That isn't how you treat people you care about, people you  _love_. We've been through e _verything_ together. I don't think I've had a single birthday without you in attendance since I was 2."

"Stan, I just can't be around you anymore. Every time I'm around you you're just so weird. You think I can't smell the alcohol on your breath? Think I don't notice how you look at things? You look at the world like there's nothing good left in it, you bring everyone down with how negative you are. You're bad for me, you make me sad. And I'm sorry you're fucked up but that doesn't mean I have to be fucked up too. Look, I know you're trying but I just can't keep wasting all my energy on you and your issues. When you aren't pointing out everything that sucks you're being selfish or disinterested. I wanna be around people I  _like_ being around. I know this is harsh, I know this sucks for you but I've made up my mind. I'm sorry Stan but I just can't be around you anymore."

His words hurt. His words hurt so much Stan couldn't hold back the tears that had gathered in his eyes, making his vision blurred. It felt like a  physical pang go through him. He just stared at him, the sun had completely gone down so his friend, well ex friend, was lit only by Stans bed side lamp, shadows danced across his face, making his features sharp, maybe in a different setting he'd tell him he looked handsome. It was all so overwhelming he almost laughed, seriously. What the _fuck_?

"I don't know what to do without you man. You're my best friend but you're so so much more than that. Please don't do this Kyle, I can be better I swear. You're the only thing that makes me happy anymore, please don't leave Kyle. You're my super best friend." his words started as a quiet whimper but turned into a loud plea. He knew how pitiful he looked and sounded, but he couldn't lose Kyle, that just wasn't an option. 

Kyle just looked down at him, an unhappy frown on his face as he watched Stan. Finally Kyle signed and hugged Stan, pulled him close while he cried. And holy shit did he cry. Stan held on to him like he was his life line. But the embrace ended far too soon. Before he could register what was happening Kyle pulled away and stood up, walked to the door and turned. 

"You were my super best friend too, but it's all changed Stan, I need to grow and I can't grow when you keep holding me back. I really am sorry and I hope you fix your shit. Goodbye Stan.." Stan was powerless to do anything besides stare at his wall as the one person he cares about walks away. He's barely aware of the faint sound of his front door shutting. He's alone. Alone. 

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't edited this bc i'm scared it'll be bad lmao so i'm just gonna post it and pray that when i do read it in the morning itll be worth not being deleted


End file.
